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West Ham Sign Football Manager Regen Paul Botthemhelm

His PA is reportedly 150

West Ham United today made history when they completed the signing of a Football Manager 2008 regen named Paul Botthemhelm.

Botthemhelm has certainly made a name for himself in the digital sphere. If you’ve ever taken an FM08 save to 2020-21 season then you’ll be familiar with the potential of the widely regarded English centre-midfielder.

A decade ago today, David Moyes famously became the first top-flight manager to sign a deal with Sports Interactive, which he later used to sign then-suspected FM regen Ibrahim Said on loan from Al Ahly.

Whilst Said never managed a single minute of football for The Toffees, Moyes is hoping that Botthemhelm will kick on and become the first regenerated player to successfully transition from computer to pitch.

During a press conference this afternoon, Moyes stated that “he’s (Botthemhelm) dull, quiet and often repeats the same comments in either a calm, assertive, cautious or passionate tone.”

Signing a player that was regenerated by a video game comes with its complications. The only information Moyes has on the player is his nationality, position and potential as a 14-year old on a game made in 2008.

Despite this, Moyes seems confident in his signing: “I always thought computers were either Russian or American, but he’s assured me he’s from Cheltenham. I think he’ll bring an element of missing Britishness to this West Ham midfield.”

Club captain Mark Noble was assigned the task of showing Botthemhelm around the club’s training facilities earlier today. “He’s a great lad, reminds me a lot of James Milner. He only glitched out twice but it’s simple enough to just reload him.”

A video of Botthemhelm continuously walking into a wall has begun to circulate social media this afternoon. When asked what he was doing he aggressively replied: “I would rather focus on the game itself than needlessly discuss it.”

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