‘We’re Shit and We Know We Are’ To Be England’s Official World Cup Song

by James Copeland

‘We’re Shit and We Know We Are’ is set to become immortalised alongside other historic England World Cup anthems such as 3 Lions, World In Motion, and 10 German Bombers In The Air.

High Press News sat down with FA spokesperson Frank Football who said: “we were supremely tactful with how we interacted with England fans in the narrowing down of the World Cup anthem. The Twitter poll ran for two entire weeks so people can’t say we were lax in our decision making.”

To the FA’s surprise, ‘We’re Shit and We Know We Are’ ran out as an overwhelming favourite, attaining 189% of the overall vote. ‘We didn’t even think this was possible.’ said an FA insider.

To coincide with the anthem announcement, non-paedophile Chris Tarrant will host a reality TV show in order to recruit a team of children to feature in the official video. Prerequisites for applying to Britain’s Got Tarrant include being under 16 years old, severely impoverished and belonging to a run-down council estate. With this, the FA are looking to match the subtle art direction of their recent England squad announcement video.

The track will be recorded by professional miserable twat Morrisey and will feature an accompanying verse from Tinie Tempah. “For me, this track really encapsulates England’s antipathy towards the national team,” said Mr. Tempah. “It’s liberating to finally acknowledge that, just like Brexit and the last season of Lost, England’s World Cup campaign is going to end miserably. Trampoline.”

More to follow through.

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