Sporting Media “Devastated” by United Comeback

by James Copeland

The world’s media have expressed their anger and frustration after Manchester United staged a remarkable second-half comeback to defeat Newcastle United on Saturday.

In a joint statement, news outlets bemoaned the character and determination shown by Mourinho’s team, reluctantly acknowledging that this may be the catalyst they needed to finally kick-start their season.

“Of course we’re disappointed,” said Hairy Winter, the Chief Football Writer for The Times. “The Sportsdesk were chomping at the bit at half-time. One of our junior writers had actual saliva pouring out of his mouth and onto his keyboard as he eagerly punched out the headline “No Way Jose!” for the 8th time this season. Of course, that all changed in the final 20 minutes.”

The misery of the press was further compounded by impressive displays from their favourite scapegoats; with Pogba, Sanchez and Martial the standout performers in a dramatic 2nd half. “With every other team performing more or less as expected now, we needed this. Even West Ham have started to find their form. Let’s just hope Mourinho picks up a drink driving charge midweek, otherwise we’re fucked.”

More to follow.

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