Shock as FIFA Youtuber Accepts a Narrow Defeat With Quiet Dignity

by James Copeland

The Youtube community is reeling after a popular FIFA Youtuber failed to swear, rant, or throw a chair following a 2-1 defeat in a Weekend League match on Sunday.

“I just don’t get it” said one flabbergasted viewer whose hobbies also include throwing popcorn in cinemas and trying to kick the pigeons outside Primark. “The team he was playing had 2 shots on target and scored the winner with the last kick of the game. Yet when the final whistle blew, he just said ‘good game’ and moved on to the next match like it was nothing. He must have some serious issues.”

Another viewer, Scott Blandley, was equally perplexed. “What the fuck is this guy playing at? Seeing someone get angry at EA is the only thing that makes me feel better about my own mediocre FIFA ability. By reacting in a cool and collected manner, he’s effectively allowing EA to continue to get away with making me lose. He didn’t even send a vitriolic message to his opponent, for Christ’s sake.”

The Youtuber in question was more stoic about the whole thing. “He played well. Yes, I had more chances and more possession, but these days football matches are won on far more than underlying stats. He was clinical, I wasn’t.”

Nonetheless, his fans haven’t been won over. “They’re angry” he explained. “I told one of them to have a nice day and he told me to ‘fuck off and die’. I love my subscribers.”

**Since you’re here, we’ve just started out and our Facebook page is looking barer than a streaker’s arse. Whenever we get a “like” we talk about it excitedly on our WhatsApp group, like the sad bastards we are. Help us out? Cheers. >>

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