Shock as Local Man Keeps World Cup Wall Chart Up-To-Date

by Mitch Murphy

A house in Devon has emerged as a surprise place of pilgrimage after local police discovered a completely up-to-date World Cup wall chart in the home of local man Peter Punctual.

Chief Inspector Gary Policeman, addressing the press who had gathered outside the makeshift terraced temple, had this to say: “We can confirm that as of 10:30 this morning, local man Pete Punctual was found in possession of the rarest of rare – an up-to-date World Cup wall chart. We can also confirm that it is, as rumoured, proper sick and even has the results of games such as Sweden vs. South Korea. It’s insane.”

The up-to-date wall chart has attracted a host of high profile visitors with England manager Gareth Southgate being the latest celebrity to make the pilgrimage stating: “I’ve flown 2,500 miles from Russia to Devon to see this chart. I can see we won our opening game 2-1. I already knew that, mind, but to see it confirmed on a wall chart is reassuring.”

Local police are happy for visitors to come and view the artefact but have called for sensibility considering there are 47 games left to etch in to the sacred piece. “This is furthest I have ever seen anyone get in terms of a wall chart,” said Gary Policeman. “Jeff in forensics says he got all the way to the quarter-finals one time but that was in 2002 and only his friend from school saw it and you don’t know him.”

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