Roberto Firmino pens £2.2m sponsorship deal with Oral B

by Chris Rivers

Roberto Firmino today signed a £2.2 million sponsorship deal with American consumer goods corporation, Procter & Gamble Co. The deal will see the Liverpool striker become the teeth of a new whitening toothpaste named Oral-Bobby.

The sponsorship came as no surprise and was made public just weeks after Roberto Firmino won the Ballon j’Or, ending a three-year reign by Luis Suarez. Previous winners include fellow Brazilian Ronaldinho and Stoke midfielder Charlie Adam.

Despite winning such a prestigious award, Firmino remained humble and heaped praise on his new multinational, stating: “My teeth are white for two reasons, Oral-B Whitening Toothpaste and intensive gegenbrushing.”

The speech was then unfortunately cut short when Firmino let out a grin that blinded thirteen members of the audience.

The deal is a strategic one by Procter & Gamble, as they aim to tap into the lucrative and (until now) impenetrable market of English football fans who are ‘just not that interested in brushing their teeth.’

Paul White, a spokesperson for P&G, believes that Firmino is the perfect advocate for whitening toothpaste because football fans have spent the last five years watching his teeth get progressively brighter.

He went on to state that: “Whilst Roberto’s teeth may seem brighter than your future, it’s important to remember that before he was scoring braces at Liverpool, he was wearing them at Hoffenheim.”

Oral-Bobby gets a glowing review from us and will be available in stores across the United Kingdom from March 19th. For a free sample, like our Facebook page.

**But seriously, since you’re here, we’re still a young site and our Facebook page is looking less populated than the Emirates after a string of bad results. Whenever we get a “like” we talk about it excitedly on our WhatsApp group, like the sad bastards we are. Help us out? Cheers. >>

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