Numerous police reports have been filed across the UK as people are reporting friends and acquaintances for abusing the ‘Harry Kane claimed it’ joke. The number has risen sharply within the past week despite the joke ageing poorly yet remaining popular.
We managed to get in touch with Police Constable Dirk Diggler who had this to say on behalf of the force: “While we must make it clear that reporting such petty issues isn’t usually encouraged, we have made an exception and vow to arrest every single last person who is continuing to make the Harry Kane joke so please do keep the reports coming in.”
“We can confirm that we raided the house of a middle-aged man who runs a Twitter football parody account after discovering he tweeted Harry Kane claiming the Grand National win followed by a series of emojis that made little to no sense.”
The move to act by the police has been feverishly supported by the vast majority of football fans who desperately want Alan in accounts to stop making the joke every chance he gets. Constable Diggler had this to say before finishing the interview:
“You know it’s bad if High Press News don’t make jokes about it. Or maybe their three staff writers had real life things to do and missed the boat in terms of writing a shitty article about it. Who knows for sure.”