Outrage As Orange Chairs Buy Majority Of World Cup Tickets

by Mitch Murphy

International fans have called for an investigation to be launched after FIFA revealed the struggles attaining World Cup tickets lie at the foldable feet of the orange chairs who were quick to snap up tickets in pre-sale specials.

Fans have been left frustrated after being told stadiums were sold out only to discover thousands of orange chairs appearing to cheer on absolutely nobody while remaining stagnant throughout entire games.

“I’m not even sure why you would sell tickets to orange chairs,” said one disgruntled punter. “It doesn’t even make any sense. They’re chairs for fuck’s sake.”

E73, an orange chair who has appeared at every World Cup fixture so far, was willing to speak to us.

“We’re being blamed for the poor attendances but I don’t think it’s all that fair. We’re people too. We deserve to watch the World Cup. Even if we aren’t actually people but orange chairs.”

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