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Neymar Gets Superhero Tattoo To Combat Crime Caused By Sterling Gun Tattoo

U.K. reporting 16.4% decrease overnight

This week Neymar Jnr returned to his ink dealer and rather than opting for more calligraphy fonts or an infinity symbol chest piece, he chose something with deep connotations to his past.

Having been concerned by a sharp increase in gun crime since Sterling’s tattoo, Neymar felt getting a couple of superhero tattoos was a more effective way of preventing gun crime than actually donating money to gun-prevention efforts.

The Brazilian superstar said he always loved how bad the wings tattooed on David Beckham looked, and decided to take compositional inspiration from those, whilst also paying homage to his late dad, a local superhero from São Paulo.

“People have to understand that being a superhero in Brazil is different from being one in New York, or wherever Batman is from” Neymar reluctantly revealed.

“During the peak tourist season, there is enough phone theft to keep a hundred superheroes in employment.”

A quote from Neymar’s Instagram page with the word ‘again’ added.

Despite an outlandish reaction to Raheem Sterling’s tattoo, Neymar’s latest addition has been surprisingly well-received throughout the English media:

“We need some carbon-based superhero’s to help combat the crime caused by that bloody carbon-based gun Raheem got tattooed on him” stated Eric Helm of Sun Sport.

“Britain has been in chaos ever since with gun crime rising 113% in 6 months. Now that Mbappe has become Paris’ superhero, we’re hoping Neymar can become ours.”

More to follow.

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