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Mourinho Breaks Silence on Aretha Franklin Grief With Touching “Respect, Respect, Respect” Tribute

There Ain’t No Way He’s Getting Over This

Jose Mourinho has finally revealed the reason for United’s poor start to the season: the untimely death of soul legend Aretha Franklin.

In what will likely become an infamous press conference after United’s 0-3 defeat to Spurs, an emotional Mourinho fought back the tears and said “Respect, respect, respect” whilst appearing to point to the heavens, leaving the room of journalists to dwell on a touching homage to Aretha’s memory.

Since Aretha’s passing on 16th August, Manchester United have failed to register a point, leaving them with just a solitary win against Leicester. “She teaches me to think,” Jose once said of the Memphis-born soprano, “think about what I’m trying to do to my opponents. She makes me feel like a natural manager.”

Nobody has seen Jose since his abrupt exist from last night’s conference, but High Press News did manage to speak to Ed Woodward. “There’s been a chain of fools speculating about his future at the club,” said United’s Chief Executive. “We’re all saying a little prayer that he can overcome this and return to winning ways.”

More to follow.

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