You know the feeling: the World Cup comes around, you pop into the local shop, only to eventually be questioned as to why there’s £35.95 missing from the joint account and a shiny Keisuke Honda on the fridge.
When Steve Stickerbuk got in touch with High Press News to share his story, we were more than happy to hear him out while low-key checking to see if he had a spare Edinson Cavani.
“I think it would be fair to say the euphoria died almost immediately, yeah,” explained Steve, who, incidentally, was lacking a spare Cavani. “I went over the lines with Aaron Mooy while sticking in my Australian players. Tried to do that thing where you peel the sticker back off to rectify the mistake only to ruin the book in the process. I know that never works but I still went for it. Regret it tremendously.”
Usually, friends agree to purchase the stickers together in a bid to create a small marketplace in which they can trade. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case for Steve.
“None of my friends are collecting along with me. Zero. Not a single one of them. Fuck knows who I’m going to swap with. I’d turn up at one of those sticker festival things but at my age I’m absolutely terrified of the assumptions that would be made.”
“I’ve bought 24 packets so far and have somehow amassed 32 Ever Banegas. Can you ask if anyone needs an Ever Banega, please? Can you put that in the article?”
Panini, who manufacture the stickers, had little sympathy for Steve. “If Steve spends just £3,457,844.37 more on stickers, he gives himself a 78% chance of owning the entire Saudi Arabian squad” insisted Ham Panini, Panini’s founder and current CEO. “You can’t say fairer than that.”
If anyone needs an Ever Banega or has an Edinson Cavani going spare, please do contact High Press News through our sticker hotline: 0800 GOT-CAVANI.