Liverpool Consider Bringing Back Furloughed PR Team

by Mitch Murphy

An inside source has revealed that panic has swept Liverpool Football Club at board level as the club is struggling to iron over the creases left from furloughing half of their non-playing staff in a move described by one Liverpool owner as ‘not that big a deal tbh’.

According to the leak, Liverpool CEO Peter Moore has been sat at his desk staring at a blank Microsoft Word document hoping to find the words to quell the universal condemnation of the furloughing but has so far only messed about with the font type and settled on Comic Sans.

The inability to explain away the horrendous moral failure in a manner that makes it look like it’s not Liverpool’s fault has led the clubs owners to consider the idea of unfurloughing the PR team so they could return to work and firefight the evil £2.5m inferno of a bill the club has handed the tax payer.

However, the move has been delayed as the club first wants to check if after unfurloughing employees you can then refurlough them and still claim 80% of wages.

Liverpool owner John W. Henry has refused to comment publicly on the situation and continues his isolation in his volcano lair in which he spends the majority of his days stroking a bald cat while looking ominously at a globe.

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