Nobody can find Kevin De Bruyne after a blanket of snow has descended upon northern England, a Manchester City statement has revealed.
The Belgian playmaker, known for his extraordinarily pale skin, was last seen on Tuesday afternoon before the first snow began to fall.
“His Mercedes is in the training facility’s car park” explained a concerned Raheem Sterling “so we know he’s somewhere around here. But nobody has a clue.”
The hashtags #FindKevin and #WeNeedtoTalkAboutKevin have begun to trend on Twitter, with a team of volunteers lead by Pep Guardiola widening their search hour by hour. “Of course we’re worried” said the City manager. “I’ve told the volunteers to look out for a bodiless tuft of ginger hair floating around. It’d be great to find him before the Arsenal game.”
Meanwhile, comparisons have been made with the 90’s hit film, Home Alone, in which another pale Kevin was left to fend for himself without adequate supervision. High Press News understands that John Stones was assigned to mark Kevin De Bruyne in Tuesday’s training session, but lost him after only 4 seconds. More to follow.