A man who has decried FIFA 18 as “an absolute pile of dogshite” still plays it obsessively whenever he gets the opportunity, a new study has revealed.
Barry Gormley, from Wigan, spends about 7 hours a day screaming at his TV screen with phrases like “the game is making me lose” and “I didn’t ask you to pass there, you fucking lanky cretin”.
“I’ve promised myself that today will be my last day” explained Barry, several weeks ago. “That’ll show EA that they can’t take us for granted. We’re not standing for their shoddy product anymore.” Despite his convictions, Barry has played 172 hours of FIFA 18 since then – a personal best for the 28 year old.
His girlfriend is more concerned than anybody about Barry’s erratic behaviour. “He’s been through 3 controllers in the past month” she told us. “Yesterday I saw him punch the wall after, and I quote, his ‘defence parted like the red sea’ in the 88th minute. But he just wipes off the blood and keeps on playing.”
Barry remains certain he’ll quit soon. “I’m doing it. You just try and stop me. I’ve got better things to do with my life. As soon as I’ve packed Pele, I’m out.
More to follow.