British Manager Merry-Go-Round to Open at Alton Towers

by James Copeland

Alton Towers has revealed plans to launch the UK’s first British Manager Merry-Go-Round – or Manager-Go-Round – at the start of the 18/19 season in August.

The ride will be similar to the traditional merry-go-round, but will feature big plastic molds of unemployed British managers in the place of horses.

“The Manager-Go-Round gives visitors an insight into the pressures faced by the modern-day football manager in a way never before thought possible” explained Barry Fun, who became the CEO of Alton Towers after years of running a successful paedophile ring. “What better way to understand the mental fragility of Sam Allardyce or David Moyes than by sitting on their frowning faces for 3 and a half minutes?”

Other managers featured on the ride include Mark Hughes, Alan Pardew, Steve Bruce and Harry Redknapp. “The criteria is simple” continued Mr. Fun, “as long as you’re a British manager with a mediocre track record and a dangerously high BMI, you’re a shoe-in for the ride. We’ve got plenty of managers to choose from.”

The move comes after Thorpe Park opened the Emotional Rollercoaster last year: a ride that takes adrenalin junkies through the ups and downs of Wayne Rooney’s personal life.

More to follow.

You may also like

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy