Arsenal Plan to Hire a Hologram of Arsene Wenger After Arsene Wenger Departs the Club

by Mitch Murphy

The Arsenal board have proven time and time again that they are resolute in their commitment to Arsene Wenger despite growing disdain amongst the fan base. Earlier today, their loyalty to the 68-year-old French man was again in full display when the club confusingly announced that after Arsene Wenger’s departure from the club, Arsene Wenger will continue as the club manager.

The news was broken via the club’s official website, in which Chief Executive Officer Ivan Gazidis wrote: “The only way for Arsenal Football Club to continue without Arsene Wenger is to continue with some sort of sick almost real-life hologram of Arsene Wenger or something.”

The board confirmed that the idea was discussed after an intern at the club was found watching a YouTube video of Snoop Dogg performing with a hologram of Tupac Shakur live at Coachella in 2012.

The statement continued: “Did you see that Snoop Dogg and Tupac thing? That was heavy. Imagine that but Arsene Wenger and maybe Tupac. Possibly even Biggie Smalls. But definitely Wenger and maybe Eazy E.”

The debate heated up on social media with fans of various clubs wondering if the infestation of technology within the game has gone too far. It was only last month a High Press insider leaked documents showing how Newcastle United were thinking of implementing Predator-like shoulder cannons on their wingers.

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