Manchester United’s latest signing, Alexis Sanchez, has been lingering outside the gates of the Etihad Campus, City insiders have reported.
The news comes just weeks after it was announced Mourinho’s club had pipped their local rivals to the signing of the 29 year-old Chilean, despite the ex-Arsenal man’s ambitions to join his former coach Pep Guardiola at the Etihad.
We spoke to City midfielder and professional ginger-haired man Kevin de Bruyne, who told us more about Sanchez’s unusual behaviour. “The first day he turned up we all thought he was just confused, so Raheem [Sterling] politely directed him back towards United’s training ground” explained Kevin, vigorously applying sunscreen under the shade of a big oak tree.“The next day we saw him peering through the fence again. He looked like a lost cat. Pep [Guardiola] went over to have a word, but he still turns up every day. Now we just let him watch.”
“He gets really excited when the ball rolls over in his direction” added John Stones. “It’s a bit sad really.”
When asked for comment, Jose Mourinho could only shrug, before stubbing out a cigarette on the flesh of his forearm. More to follow.